Writings and reflections
Essays, teachings and stories from many years of accompanying individuals and families — on ancestral healing, love, guilt, shame and the quiet language of the soul.
When one parent speaks badly of the other they can trigger two deep systemic wounds to the child’s core identity, namely ‘I did something bad by loving my father’ or ‘I am bad because I carry my mother within me’....
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Did your ex really waste your time, or did they contribute to who you are today? So many individuals approach the topic of a former partner as someone or something that wasted thei…
Read the articleWhen raised to meet a parent's emotional needs, carrying others' burdens feels natural, as though it were our life's purpose—our raison d'être. We can carry this into our adult relationships...
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Over my many years of working with individuals—both in private sessions and workshop settings—I have become acutely aware of what I term the “Closed Room Effect.” The closed room is where the forgotten, the excluded, the denied,…
Read the articleI was sitting in front of my television, watching Oprah Winfrey, and just as she said the words, “And now for our next guest,” three armed men, each of them carrying guns, came into my living room. Or at least one of them was. It…
Read the articleIn January 2013 I had a minor motorcycle accident that led me to contract a very serious case of cellulitis with multiple strains of infection. This caused me to be on an antibiotic drip for more than 16 days during which I…
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We are not islands. We are born into many histories that have formed and shaped our world, these histories are more than just the stories that have been told and are far more than the books that have been written to tell one…
Read the articleWhen I was in South Africa I had the privilege to work with a group of men who had been in the special forces under the old Apartheid regime. These men had been involved in state sponsored torture of their victims, mostly black…
Read the articleAs we look around the world we can easily gauge one culture to be cold and unemotional and another culture to be either warm, emotional or even fiery. However, how true are these distinctions? Are Latin and Middle Eastern folk…
Read the articleMost of us enter the world of healing, meditation, yoga, new thinking and spirituality because we want to either feel better about ourselves or to improve our experience of reality – some of us enter because we have a burning…
Read the articleWishing each and every one of you a wonderful 2016. Living in a world in which the media is constantly within our gaze and grasp, it can be easy to see the world we live in as only being full of bad news. It is only in very…
Read the articleMuch of our suffering finds it roots in our relentless obsession with comparison. As humans we can get all caught up in constantly comparing ourselves to other. The ‘other’ is then either ‘better’ or ‘worse’, more intelligent,…
Read the articleAs humans we are inherently creative, much of what we create is born out of necessity and much of it motivated by pure pleasure. We can create a functional apparatus or music that will delight, soothe, enliven or entertain, lour…
Read the articleFor many seeing into other worlds and the ability to see and sense subtle energies is the Holy Grail of extra sensory awareness, the grand golden first prize. Many long for their own eyes to confirm without a doubt that there is…
Read the articleOur physical bodies are literally hard wired to avoid pain at all costs – pain equals a threat to our very existence. However, as conscious beings who are far more than just our physical body we often respond to emotional pain in…
Read the articleWhilst some may argue that the reason why so many men are unfaithful to their partners is based on a biological impulse to spread DNA, humans are primarily emotional beings. Studies into voting habits testify to this: whilst…
Read the articleAs a child of the 60’s and a teenager of 70’s I had an acute awareness that being gay was neither welcomed not wanted and in fact, it was quite dangerous. Not only were there taunts in the schoolyard for being a sissy, Nancy boy…
Read the articleIn all of my years socialising, meeting people, studying cultures and working with thousands of individuals, I’ve heard plenty of women use the word ‘whore’ or other derogatory words to describe another woman. Why is that?
Read the articleMost of us had the experience in childhood of being told that truth was not welcome and we lived with the contradiction of being told ‘thou shalt not lie’ and the experiencing most of the adults around us doing just that –…
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Each of us is born into a story that is already being told. The ghosts and the stories of the past are alive and well and much of the script of our lives has already been written. It is written without our consent or knowledge,…
Read the articleHealing Shame as a path to Success
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Adoption: Understanding the Wound Pt 1 - YouTube
Read the article– Stepping out of a life of disappointment
Read the articleWe’ve all heard the expression ‘the truth will set you free’, but what do secrets do? Keeping secrets has a function of either controlling others, keeping ourselves safe from perceived danger or retribution, or, believing that…
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Many years ago when a couple came to me for some counselling it unfolded that the wife in this second marriage felt very challenged by the lack of respect being shown her by her husband’s teenage children. In this day and age,…
Read the articleThe heart’s longing is to know itself as love and although its voice resides in the depth of silence along with the truth, we are often drawn to speak of love and its meaning.
Read the articleOne of the greatest freedoms we can experience comes from having a healthy relationship to being wrong. ...
Read the articleImmersed in a culture in which individualism is generally encouraged and creativity is allowed to flourish despite some societal constraints, the desire to make our mark in the world and be noticed in an ocean of individualistic…
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As we journey deeper into the power of truth we begin to realize that much of
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We live in a world in which many individuals in the developed world have at least one parents who is an immigrant from another country or continent. When we look at our ancestry, the first question we must ask is ‘What did they…
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Embracing the Power of Truth – Tools for Liberating Your Heart
Read the articleMost of us enter into the world of personal development and healing because we want something – we either want a physical condition resolved, men often want to be more successful at their chosen career, or to discover a new one,…
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Let us look at ‘goodness’ within the context of western culture, which is largely Christian. Although these concepts about goodness exist in other cultures, and also exist as distortions of the teachings of great spiritual…
Read the articleOver the many years of my healing practice that has taken many different forms dovetailing into one of body work – Family Constellations, Reiki, Energy Healing and Shamanism, I have had the privilege of working with many clients…
Read the articleRecent scientific studies have been strongly indicating that the traumas of men from previous generations affect the RNA in sperm, which in turn has a direct effect on the RNA in the following generations – influencing…
Read the articleForgiveness is quite a challenging topic. It is one of those topics around which we have many images, concepts and ideas.
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With a title as provocative as this, one could easily be forgiven for thinking that my purpose is to promote gloomy thoughts, a ‘realistic’ take on life and its events peppered with a generous dose of cynicism. Not at all.…
Read the articleAfter having worked with several thousands of clients on each of the populated continents in our world, I began to see repeating patterns that crossed all racial, ethnic and cultural and class barriers. Each culture had its own…
Read the articleAs you read this title your first reaction may be ‘I was not raised in a religious family’, ‘I was never taught this’, ‘I’m not a Chrisitian’ – which is understandable. However, for the past fifteen hundred years, every…
Read the articleIn recent years my work with individuals began to go beyond working with family systems and ancestral healing into the world of deeper personal process – which includes energy healing work and using my ability to see and sense…
Read the articleAdoption is such a broad subject, volumes could be written about it, and from the perspective of everyone involved. The adopted child, the birth mother, the biological father, the adoptive mother, the biological grandparents, the…
Read the articleWhen we hear the word ‘guilt’ we can often react to it by declaring ‘I have nothing to be guilty for!’
Read the articleMy own personal journey with Christianity and the story of Jesus has evolved throughout my life, such a long journey from childhood dreams, battling with the fear that my religions taught me, total rejection of Christianity, the…
Read the articleTeachings from an Awakened Heart
Read the articleAs a result of the many interruptions to the natural bonding process between parents and children in modern industrialised nations, many of us do indeed feel like islands, isolated and in need of objects and external…
Read the articleWhilst we can celebrate freely and richly the wondrous art and music of western culture, the instant gratification tendency in the west leaves a lot to be desired – pun definitely intended.
Read the articleIn the world of energy healing there are a few things that can trigger a reaction in me as a professional healer with a long track record of working with individuals and groups in the context of systemic and ancestral healing and…
Read the articleAs a healer I have been greatly blessed with the ability to see into the non-physical and subtle energy realms since a young age. When young this was mostly nature spirits, spirit guides, deities, angelic beings and the…
Read the articleWe hear the word ‘surrender’ and the admonishment to ‘live in the moment’ all of the time in spiritual circles – even ‘Let go and let God’ – However, for many of us, this is not only a challenge, but it often feels impossible as…
Read the articleAs small children we generally come into the world brimming with effervescent, exuberant, vibrant pure positive life force energy. However, there are many circumstances that can dampen, hinder or even detach us from any sense of…
Read the articleHave you been using the Law of Attraction for a while and yet your stated goals and dreams still seem to be at a distance? Are you frustrated with just not being able to either create what you want or disheartened that what you…
Read the articleThe modern healing arena provides anyone seeking personal development and healing work a plethora of choices – all of which can add up to confusion. So which method or technique is best? Energy Healing? EFT? NLP? Theta Healing?…
Read the articleWithin the core of my work with individuals is to help you explore, uncover and feel into unconscious and conscious unhealthy loyalties you may have to parents, ancestors and siblings.
Read the articleShamanic Ritual and Family Constellations: The Ancestors Speak©
Read the articleBy the time we reach adulthood we’ve had plenty of experiences and have drawn plenty of conclusions about what is either good or bad. We’ve taken on my labels, many labels have been forced up on us and we’ve willingly adopted…
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In healing, the wound becomes the foundation for the renewed compassionate human being. There is no magic wand.
Quote by ShavastiFirstly, you don’t need to have a ‘problematic’ or ‘strained’ relationship with your family, children, current or former partner or spouse to benefit from this work.
Read the articleWhen a child is asked to fulfil the needs of a parent, especially its mother, then it faces one of the biggest dilemmas that can continue well into adulthood and later years. If at a young age we exist to fulfil the needs of our…
Read the articleYou’ve got to be kidding, right? Do nothing? Stop?
Read the articleIf I fix it, it will be OK
Read the articleIf you were asked to do too much too soon, take on too much responsibility at a young age – either physical responsibility such as household chores or emotional responsibility – caring for siblings, a sick parent or feeling…
Read the articleHave you ever felt like a hamster on a wheel? Always working on something but seemingly not getting anywhere and wondering when the process will ever be complete?
Read the articleWhen it comes to personal development and healing, so many of us have yearned for a magic wand or hope that when we finally find the Holy Grail, pain will never have to be experienced again. We hope that ‘next time’ or ‘maybe…
Read the articleChakra Cords or also called Relational Cords are strings of energy that run between individuals, within religious and political groups, within families, ethnicities and nations. More commonly they are experienced as our energetic…
Read the articleIn this newsletter I promised to share with you information regarding Relationship Cords. We’re all aware of the term ‘no strings attached’, however, in my experience there are almost always strings attached.
Read the articleYou may be tempted to believe that there is very little connection between Family Constellation work and energy healing work -after all, they don’t look the same, feel the same, or behave the same. Family Constellations, through…
Read the articleMuch has been written over the ages about Soul Retrieval but few people understand exactly what that means. How can we lose our soul? We see perpetrators of violence and cruelty losing their humanity, but what is it to lose one’s…
Read the articleIn the natural order of things, love flows freely from one generation to the next – from grandparents to parents to children. However, life’s events, especially trauma, often cause us to lose parts of our own essence, our ability…
Read the articleDuring my recent travels have spent time in both Thailand and Cambodia. Both countries share the same Buddhist tradition, related languages and similar cultures – but this is where the similarity stops.
Read the articleVery often in our work together we will employ what has been called ‘healing sentences’ that come forward from the family soul. These words, the language of the soul’, really do emerge from the silence, form the ‘not knowing’…
Read the articleNo matter all the words spoken, no matter the eloquence of the written word, the prose, wise and insightful soliloquy – the truth always resides in the silence. For it is in the silence that both our wound and love can be felt…
Read the articleThe power of family bonds and ties cannot be overestimated, for their power is far reaching, often spanning many generations. I’ve written on this topic of having the courage to be happy many times before and I do so as none of…
Read the articleIf fear had no part in your life on any level, what would your life look like? Would be finally start that business you’ve always wanted to start? Would you tell someone that you love them? Would you leave a relationship? Move to…
Read the articleThere appears to be little that any of us won’t do in order to avoid suffering or feeling our own pain. Most of us will exclaim ‘I want to be happy!’ and yet that very happiness teeters on the foundation of unresolved pain and…
Read the articleOften as we move through life we try to cling to permanence even though the experience of countless generations tells each and every one of us in each moment that there is nothing that is permanent.
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“The truth is not found in words, it is experienced in the silence after the words have been spoken” – Shavasti
Quote by Shavasti
“Fate is a given; destiny is what we do with it” – John L. Payne (Shavasti)
Quote by Shavasti
“Do you want peace, or do you want to be right?” – John L. Payne (Shavasti)
Quote by Shavasti
“The heart has no opinions. Opinions are the function of the mind.” – John L. Payne (Shavasti)
Quote by Shavasti
“We can tell when truth is spoken by how our body feels when we speak it. Untruths are retained in the body, and truth flows freely” – John L. Payne (Shavasti)
Quote by Shavasti
“The centre of our being is not the mind, but the heart. It is within this centre that we touch the inner sanctum of our being and can experience what the sages of old have given many names: the presence, the beloved, God and the…
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“When we are grounded in our body and present in the moment, we can let go of all notions of good and bad, which then gives us the opportunity to experience the depth of our own being” – John L. Payne (Shavasti)
Quote by ShavastiIn working with several thousand family systems, Bert Hellinger has uncovered what he describes as the age-old Orders of Love, which are deeply embedded in the unconscious of family groups. This forgotten knowledge,…
Read the articleIt has been said that often the heart must break in order to open and that our suffering
Read the articlePrivate sessions are available online year-round, with workshops held across Europe, Australia and North Africa.